It’s Been 52 Years Now
It has been 52 years now. My beloved brother, a man of true substance, departed this realm of existence in June of 1974. He was twenty-three years old. His sudden death, of a cerebral hemorrhage, hit us all like a bolt of lightning. We were all (my family of five) sitting in the living room of our house talking. A friend of my father was visiting. All of a sudden my brother keeled over and fell onto the floor unconscious. He died right before our eyes with no warning. Before the ambulance even got there, he was exhibiting what is termed “the death rattle”, a truly horrible sound. I felt as if a giant had picked me up and flung me against a brick wall. I was numb and in pain at the same time.
As Einstein noted, time is a stubbornly persistent illusion. My wonderful memory of our time together is still so fresh and clear in my mind that it seems impossible that over eighteen thousand days have passed since his death. While his body stopped functioning, his energy, his essence, continues on in another realm of existence. I will experience pure joy when I reunite with him after my own body stops functioning.
At the time of his death, before the full weight of the grief set in, I felt white hot anger. I felt that this had to be some colossal cosmic blunder. The grim reaper made a grossly stupid mistake and took the wrong person. My brother had so very much good to offer this oft-times crappy world. In a heartbeat, I would have offered myself in his place if only given the opportunity. That is not how the Universe operates however. We all have a number when we come out of the womb and when that number is up, it’s up.
Over twenty years ago, I had a random conversation with the owner of a computer repair shop. I complimented him on his competency and honesty as to fixing my computer and jokingly told him that he had a spot reserved for him in Heaven, The shop owner looked at me with eyes that had experienced suffering and said, “All I want when I get there is some answers.” To that I simply replied, “Amen brother”.
Growing Up Together
My brother was three years older than me, having been born in 1950. We grew up together in the era of the 1950’s and 1960’s. We shared a ton of experiences together in our modest two bedroom home in southern New Jersey. Baseball, football, basketball, hiking, camping, biking, swimming at the lake at our grandparents’ house, playing cards and board games, clowning around together around the house, going “into town” on the bus, Saturday matinee at the movies, going to the park with Mom, dealing with our father’s temper tantrums, even deep discussions about the meaning of life. Up until the early 1960’s, we even shared a bed. I still remember talking and joking after we went to bed and “Move over, you’re on my side”. My sister was born in 1959. When she outgrew her crib, she moved into our bedroom and our father cobbled together bedrooms up in the attic for me and my brother.
One night when our father was somewhat out of control, my brother stood up to him and basically told him to “knock it off”. Our father was angered by that and clearly displayed his anger. My brother did not engage but simply starting walking away from the house. He was around eight or nine years old. His intention was to walk to our grandparents’ house. As he started walking down the main artery in town that went in that direction, he came to the realization that it was much too far to walk there. He passed a produce stand and saw that they had Winesap apples. He knew Mom loved that variety of apples. After a short while, my worried Mom got in the family car to look for my brother. She saw him sitting on the steps of a business on that main artery, eating an apple, with a small basket of apples next to him. Mom pulled up to him in the car and he said “Hi Mom, I got you some of those apples that you love.”
As the years progressed, we each developed our own individual skills and personalities, strengths and weaknesses. We had occasional squabbles as do all brothers, but not all that many. We always remained close and loyal to each other. When he got involved in high school and college activities and got a girlfriend, I saw less of him but our brotherly bonds of affection always remained solid.
Demonstrating the Presence of the Most High
We are all created in the image of the Most High. As such, we have the privilege to have the opportunity to demonstrate that Presence through how we choose to conduct our life. This is accomplished by expressing high frequency energy sequences emanating from the Divine. These expressions include: love, peace, strength, compassion, truth, imagination and creativity. Throughout my brother’s life, right on up to the end, he demonstrated all of these aspects. He packed so much fullness of life into those twenty-three years.
The Book of Job
The biblical book of Job is a fascinating study in human emotion. I have always believed that there was much more to the story than what you see on the surface. By that I mean a deeper meaning below the surface story. There is scarcely any suffering that a human can experience that Job did not experience. Job pleads his case with raw honesty about the injustice of his suffering but still states, “Though you slay me, yet will I hope in You.” He is steadfast in his refusal to curse God.
The zinger comes in within chapter 28 when Job states, “Whence then cometh wisdom? And where is the place of understanding?……it is hidden from the eyes of all living.”
A Person of True Substance
What does it mean to be a person of true substance? It has absolutely nothing to do with the wealth that you possess, the possessions that you own, or the level of control that you exercise over others. A person of substance is defined by a series of lifelong choices. Free will. Then thoughts, words and actions to implement those choices. Choices that demonstrate the presence and glory of the Divine.
Choices that involve deciding what must be done now, versus what can wait, versus what does not have to be done at all. Whether to choose prudent caution or take a risk and potentially experience failure. Conforming to the norms of society or following your inner light if that light differs from societal norms. Understanding with total clarity what is true and right and making that the only road that you travel in life.
Carl Jung
Have you ever heard of the man named Carl Jung? He is recognized as one of the most influential psychiatrists of all time. He founded the field of analytical psychiatry and was among the first in his field to explore the religious nature behind human psychology. He is an interesting guy.
Take a look at this statement from Jung:
“In this overpoweringly humdrum existence, alas, there is little out of the ordinary that is healthy, and thus, not much room for conspicuous heroism. Not that heroic demands are never put on us – on the contrary – and this is so irritating and irksome – the banal everyday makes banal demands upon our patience, our devotion, our perseverance, our self-sacrifice. For us to fulfill these demands (as we must) humbly and without courting applause through heroic gestures, a heroism is needed that cannot be seen from the outside. It does not glitter. It is not belauded. It always seeks concealment in everyday attire.”
If you take a close look at some of those that appear to be people of substance , you sometimes will find under the surface a person who is merely self-seeking. Take a second look at that quote from Jung. Men and women of true substance are often much closer that you think. My brother was one of them.
Choices
With regard to the life of my brother, he substantially made the right choices in life – a man of true substance. In Shakespeare’s As You Like It, Jaques states in Act II, “All the world’s a stage. And all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and entrances, and one man in his time plays many roles.” It was my true privilege to play the part of “brother” to my dear brother. We were much more than siblings. We were true brothers. When you come to the end of your stay here on planet earth, you will have to ask yourself some hard questions. What choices did you make? Did you enhance life or subtract from it? Did you fully use what you had to work with or did you waste most of what you had? Did you give it your best or were you content to just coast through life?
Wherever you are now on your life journey – beginning, middle or near the end – you always have a choice. You can make choices that demonstrate true substance. Or you can settle for living a life of smoke and mirrors, masks and facades. If you make the choice to endeavor to be a person of substance, you most assuredly will not only enrich your life experience but will also contribute to the enrichment of others, and in fact, the entire universe.
The choice is yours. It always has been. It will continue to be so until your very last breath. Then the book of your life will be closed, game over. Choose well and live fully.